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when my friends left and i was waiting for my mom to pick me up i went into hollister and there were so many cute clothes and all the model pictures on the walls and the people there were all skinny dainty and thin and i went to the clearance section and there was xs and i saw the shirts and they were so cute and i looked at myself and i felt so fat my mom came and now i regret eating chips and i’m drinking green tea
i was craving something sweet but i didn’t want to binge and i found this cold brew latte popsicle from trader joe’s in my freezer and i searched up the calories and it’s only 40!!! 40 CALORIES FOR A COFFEE POPSICLE AND ITS SO GOOD there was only one left tho at least i won’t have the urge to take another one i honestly thought it was like 60 calories per popsicle lol
is it weird that i hate my cousin because she’s skinnier than me? i mean like she’s always complaining she’s fat and wants a flat stomach LIKE BITCH YOU HAVE A FLAT STOMCH YOURE SIZE 00 FOR FUCKS SAKE AND YOU EAT EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND YOURE TALL AND SKINNY AND YOURE 13 GODDAMN i hate her omggg she’s so annoying
i’m such a failure. i failed my permit test once again and honestly i felt bad but that wasn’t the only reason why i broke down crying in the car. i was crying because it meant that i couldn’t tell my parents about how i failed both my ap exams and how i binged so much yesterday and felt really fat. if i couldn’t be skinny and i couldn’t be smart maybe if i passed my permit test i at least would’ve gotten them off my back but no that only good thing about today is that i came home and all i wanted to do was sleep so i took 3 advil and slept 5 hours and i haven’t eaten all day. my mom had the day off and obviously has noticed but once she leaves the house i’ll pretend to eat something to put on my plate GOD WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE
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i was doing so well today i only had 305 calories and then my mom comes home with a basket of chocolate covered strawberries and other fruit and i binged i had one chocolate covered strawberry the other i chewed and spit i had ¼ of a chocolate covered banana and i spit the other ¼ out and i had 10 melon balls and 5 mini pineapple flowers and now i had 494 calories ugh i’m so fat i shouldn’t have binged
ugh i just binged on 2 bananas and raspberries and a cereal bar and ive have 350 calories in an hour and i’m on my period so i’m craving everything
i had 6 slices of pizza yesterday and like a piece of chocolate cake because my dumbass didn’t eat breakfast or lunch and my mom decided it was a good idea to walk the brooklyn bridge in 87° i was dead and hungry. thankfully the place i went to had great pizza with not a lot of calories it was 170 for one slice and I HAD 6!! i binged so much my hip bones are officially gone and i’m a failure. i drank a medium green tea when i went back to the hotel and i’m drinking one this morning. the guy at he hotel gave us a free blueberry scone and my mom wanted me to try it i had a little piece and when no one was looking i spit it in a napkin and threw it in he trash obviously there were a couple of crumbs but i prefer that than ruin my 15 hour fast daily.
FUCKKK MY AUNT IS HAVING A DINNER and all i had today was watermelon, grapes a tangerine and half a cup of almond milk and i had 232 calories and i am so happy i’m not even hungry and my parent are gonna force me to eat at like at 8 or 9 o'clock and my aunt doesn’t make like salads and healthy shit she makes chicken, rice,ribs,a full buffet like omg i’m gonna die
zerocalpal
